I understand this pretty well. I burned out my senior year in high school and quit playing club. I was holding down a job and taking honors classes. I wanted to date a little also. As much as it would help, I haven't made my son get a job. He is wavering about it himself. He needs money.
My son also has a second interest, skateboarding. None of his close hangout buddies are soccer players. All of them are skaters and pretty good students. Some of them have jobs and cars also and are forever picking him up. He also has a girlfriend now. His best friend has a steady, too. I guess it is just that time. Friends are important and I would never put him in a situation where he would have to chose between them or pleasing me. I would deservedly lose in the end.
Even though he did not say it to me out loud, I could tell he did not want to do this college clinic. And in 110 degree weather, at that!
On day one of the clinic I didn't discuss it with him. I just said, "Get in the car." He didn't give me so much as a sigh, but I heard from his mom how he felt. I knew he would rather hang out with his friends, skate, play video games in the AC, and chill with his girlfriend. But I knew once he got out there he would get in game mode and appreciate being around all the elite players and different coaches. And he did. But the last day, last session scrimmage, in the 5pm heat, I knew he was dreading. He actually let me know it and that is not his style. So I called his girlfriend and asked her if she would like to come out with us to this last session. I figured that is the person he had really been wanting to see the last three days and why not just bring her to him.
I know, I considered the distraction, but remember I was a player myself, and had lots of girlfriends out at my games. They didn't effect my play in any way. I appreciated their support. And really, anything short of her lifting her shirt would not pose much of a distraction.
I was pretty sure my son's friend would behave herself. In fact, her presence made the hot afternoon a lot more pleasant. We giggled at her fair complexion and stopped to get her sun screen, telling her to put on one coat now, let it dry, and put on the second coat when we get there. I presented her with an umbrella with the quip, "Sorry, I couldn't find the Hello Kitty one." I got to know her a little and enjoy her and my son's interaction. I thanked her for coming and told her that he needed her support. She said she and some other friends of his have been meaning to make some of his games. He played well and got to show his friend what another side of his life is like.
It's all about balance. In college most of my hang out buddies were not soccer players. I had a very active life outside of soccer. Sometimes I just needed a break from soccer. My friends one time told me they didn't like me as much during soccer season. I guess I was more aggressive or something.
Monitor your athletes' battle fatigue and recruit some reinforcing support. It's not easy out there on that field and not always fun. My son is not just my son, he is also someone else's brother, grandson, friend, boyfriend, skatebuddy, nephew, student, etc. I have to share him and let him share himself. I also think this is the last college camp we'll do. We'll just do some campus visiting from here on out. Unless he says otherwise.
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